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5 excuses men use to cheat
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March 07, 2011

If your cheating husband or boyfriend wants to spend time with his mistress, he has to give you some type of excuse to account for his time.

The more believable his excuse sounds, the less likely you are to suspect that he’s seeing another woman behind your back.

Below are the 5 most common excuses used by cheating husbands and boyfriends when they want to steal some time from their schedule to spend with their mistress, while keeping their wife or girlfriend in the dark about what’s going on.

How to Make Sure You Don’t Accuse an Innocent Mate

Keep in mind that sometimes your husband or boyfriend may actually be telling you the truth, when he uses one of the excuses below.

So to keep you from falsely accusing him if he’s innocent, I’ve also included some tips on how to determine whether or not he’s giving you a legitimate excuse.

1.  Working Late

This is the most common excuse cheating men use to spend time with their mistress – especially if it’s a workplace affair. It works because this is could very easily be a valid reason why he might come home late.

You should know enough about your husband’s or boyfriend’s job to be able to tell whether this is a legitimate excuse or not.

How to Check It Out
When he comes home from “working late,” ask him a few questions about the project, the paperwork, or whatever it was he told you he had to work late to do. Casually inquire as to who else, or how many other people in his department also had to work late, too. Is he vague or does he mention specific names? Question him again in a day or two later and see if his story changes or stays the same.

The key is to ask these questions casually and in a conversational manner. It shouldn’t sound like you’re interrogating him or giving him the third degree.  If you make it a habit to show a natural interest in his work on a daily basis (something you should be doing anyway in your  marriage or relationship) your questions will seem like part of your normal , and won’t seem to be out of place.

If your husband or boyfriend becomes defensive over innocent questions, that’s not a very good sign.

2.  Working out at the Gym or Health Club

Like work, sometimes going to the gym can be a legitimate excuse. This is the second most common excuse cheating husbands and boyfriends use because lots of men work out at the gym one or more times a week.

Here are just two of the many ways he could be cheating if he tells you he’s going to the gym.
• He could stop by to see his mistress, before or  after his workout out at the gym.
• He could lie about going to the gym, knowing it will buy him at least 2 or 3 hours to spend with her.

For other ways a cheater might make use  of this excuse, see the article entitled How Cheating Men Use the Gym or Health Club as an Excuse to Cover up Their Affair

How to Check It Out
Be very suspicious if your husband or boyfriend claims to be going to the gym on a regular basis, but there’s no visible change in his physique.

If you feel you need to check further to see what’s really going on, get a guest pass and drop in unannounced one day during the time when he’s supposed to be there. Or have a friend check to see if he’s there.  See  12 Valid Reasons to Snoop if You Suspect Your Mate May Be Cheating on You

One woman found out quite by accident that her husband was just using the gym as an excuse. She decided to include his workout clothes in the weekly laundry, but instead of the smelly, sweaty, rumpled T-shirt and gym shorts she expected to find,  his gym bag contained clean, neatly folded workout clothes that were obviously unworn.

3.  Business Trips

The “business trips” is frequently used excuse by a cheating man who wants to take a vacation with the woman he’s seeing on the side.  It gets him out of town, where he can cheat on you away from the sight of prying eyes.  But some cheating men have been known to fake a business trip to camouflage an overnight or weekend stay with their mistress, when they’ve never even left town.  For more details about this excuse, see Business Travel and Infidelity – How Cheating Men Use Business Travel to Hide Their Affairs.

How to Check It Out
Offer to accompany your husband or boyfriend on his business trip, or meet him their later, and see how he reacts.

Get as many details as possible about his “business trip” as possible – hotel where he’ll be staying, clients he’ll be meeting, seminars or workshops he’ll be attending, names of others from his company who will be on the same “trip”, etc.   If you’ve shown a healthy interest in his work all along (which you should be doing, anyway) you’ll already know most of this information, if it’s a legitimate trip.

If he’s vague about the details, or defensive because you’re curious about where he’s going or what he’ll be doing while he’s there, you may have a problem on your hands.

Do your best to discreetly confirm any information he gives about his “business trip”.  If you turn up conflicting information, then you’ll know he’s up to no good.

4.  Hanging Out With the Guys

“Boys night out” is another standard excuse. But is he really hanging out with his friends?

How to Check It Out
One woman was alerted when the friend her husband claimed to be hanging out with, came by to borrow one of his power tools.

Which of his friends is he hanging out with? How often does he use this excuse? Where will they be? Can you double check this with the wives or girlfriends of the other men he says he’ll be with?  See  How to Get a Cheater to Tell You the Truth about His Affair

5.  Picking an Argument or Fight and Storming Out

If it’s difficult for him to get away to meet his mistress, a cheating man will often start an argument over a trivial matter, or pick a fight with you as a last resort. This allows him to storm out angrily without having to answer any questions about where he’s headed, or how long he’ll be gone.

How to Check It Out
As with the previous excuse, make note of how often, and under what circumstances this excuse is used. Also take notice of how long he’s away.

One key to whether or not this is just a trumped up excuse to see his mistress, is the triviality of what started the argument or fight. When he comes back he may not even remember what the argument was about.

Check his appearance when he returns home. Rumpled clothing, visible (or not so visible) make up stains or body fluids, the smell of sex, the scent of another woman’s perfume, or a freshly showered smell are dead giveaways.    See 8 Signs of Infidelity that Expose a Cheater Who is Trying to Cover His Tracks

The odometer  on one cheating husband’s car gave him away. Though he claimed he drove around for hours to clear his head, the odometer on his car showed he’d driven less than a mile. The following month his wife found out he was having an affair with a woman who lived just a few blocks away.

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