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Deepen Intimacy By Disclosing Infidelity Respectfully
Article by: CheaterVille Staff
August 21, 2012

Deepen Intimacy By Disclosing Infidelity Respectfully

If you have cheated on your partner and you don’t want it to be the end of your relationship, what can you do?  What is the best way to approach the situation?

Teresa Maples, Counselor/Therapist, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Sex Therapist, suggests that it is very important that you and your partner go see a counselor.  Not just any counselor, but a sexual addiction specialist and preferably one who does a disclosure process.  

Therapists that have been trained to do sexual disclosures use a process created to minimize the harm to partners and designed to build intimacy in the relationship.

Before choosing a therapist, research and make sure that the one you choose uses the following 7 steps that are part of a disclosure process:

1. Several counseling sessions as a couple to explain the process and identify a timeline for disclosure.

2. Several counseling sessions individually with each partner to prepare them for the disclosure.

3. Guidelines for individual support and safety

4. Use of a written disclosure letter, detailing only behaviors that you engaged in that affect your partner. In example: you would say, “I engaged in daily online pornography and masturbation for 2 years, and met with a prostitute 3 times.” You would not share all the feelings, details and reasons for behaving in this way, as it can cause more harm to your partner.

5.  The partner then responds to the disclosure letter with a written letter expressing his/her feelings about your behaviors and how it affects him/her.

6. The disclosing partner would then write an empathy letter to the betrayed partner with the help of the therapist.

7. A process of forgiveness and rededication for the relationship and one another. Many couples choose to have a rededication or re-commitment ceremony or other ritual to put the past behind symbolically and begin to build true intimacy together.

The process of disclosing is not a one-time event.

If you want to disclose your indiscretion in a respectful manner and in a way that could potentially deepen the intimacy in your relationship, you should take Maples advice on how to seek out a counselor.  


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Posted By: chanixW | 8/21/12 3:27 PM
that sounds like it would cost a fortune
Posted By: ShannonG | 8/21/12 4:50 PM
That is a lenggggthy process
Posted By: Osiris99 | 8/21/12 5:00 PM
F that! reading a letter about all the times they cheated would drive me nuts
Posted By: VictimofHate | 8/22/12 12:06 PM
you better have the police in that room once he starts reading that letter
Posted By: Dgdonna | 8/29/12 9:04 PM
Posted By: KissNteller | 8/22/12 12:18 PM
you would have to really be in love to want to go through all of this

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