10 Types of Men Women Should Avoid
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March 14, 2011
Women, beware. Yes, men are lovely. They are cute and cuddly and make ya feel good, but there are some you might need to toss back, because come the reckoning, you’re going to wish you could return them.
Here are the top 10 men to avoid.
1. FAMILY MATTERS
The issue: The first relationship we experience in life is the one with our parents and families. If those relationships are tattered and torn, you can assume he will be the same with you. A man who “can’t stand his mom” or “doesn’t eff with his brother” is a no-go situation. If he can’t make it work with the people he supposedly loves the most, what makes you think he’s ever gonna fundamentally get what love means or truly respect the relationships that come along with it (i.e., you)?
The solution: Get him into therapy, stat. You cannot replace his family, so don’t try. Getting help to understand his anger for his loved ones just might help him love you the right way.
2. EMOTICON GUY
The issue: I don’t trust men who use emoticons. It’s just weird. And men who use exclamation points excessively make me nervous. Like they’re always yelling at you!!!
The solution: Start answering his texts in ALL CAPS AND WHEN HE ASKS WHY YOU’RE YELLING AT HIM, TELL HIM YOU’RE JUST RETURNING THE FAVOR.
3. LOAN HAWK
The issue: He borrows money from you constantly. I don’t mean a few bucks here or there; I’m talking regularly asking you for bread. I have had friends who were all but funding their boyfriend’s entire lives (rent included). You can’t convince me there’s a man out there who enjoys asking his girl for money, so if he does it without any objection, than you probably want to go ahead and rip up the money tree in your backyard.
The solution: Don’t give it to him and if you do, make him pay you back – with interest.
The issue: Once one, usually one. I won’t say always because there is always an exception to every rule (what would rules be if we couldn’t break them?), but the likelihood of a cheetah changing his spots is about as likely as you learning to trust him again 100%.
The solution: I’ve seen few get through infidelity, so if you have, put your tips in the comments section. Inquiring minds surely want to know.
5. I DREAM OF GENE-Y
The issue: Genes matter, and not just aesthetically (who wants ugly kids?), but health wise, too. If you’re in it to win it with someone, don’t forget to check his medical records. What if he has a history of schizophrenia or every man over 45 in his family has dropped dead of a heart attack? Find out early before you fall in all kinds of love and he falls six feet under, leaving you barefoot and pregnant (with an ugly kid).
The solution: Hope your genes pull through? Unless you aren’t anything above an 8 yourself, it’s slim pickings, kids, but hey, there’s someone for everyone.
6. HIGH OCTANE
The issue: We love the bad boys, the ones who constantly bring excitement and drama in our lives. They’re fun and entertaining because you never know what you’re going to get – like a big ole box of chocolates. But this isn’t Forrest Gump, and we aren’t making $20 million a picture. This is real life, and the sustaining factor for crazy isn’t very high. It’s fun for a bit, but eventually, he’ll just drive you batty. And restraining orders are a hassle. Chris Brown couldn’t even go to the Grammys this year. See, they just get in the way.
The solution: Just steer clear. Dudes with these kinds of issues need years of professional help, and they are the exact types who most likely won’t reach out and ask for it, so let them live their crazy lives on their own. If you so choose this pill, realize it’s a tough one to swallow, so good luck. You need copious amounts of patience and a love of roller-coasters; cause that’s exactly what your relationship will be. Trust me.
7. GUYS WITH TONS OF ROOMMATES
The issue(s): This is a two-parter.
A) It’s completely awkward when his live-in buddies know just how loud you are with your sex game or when a video of you winds up on X-Tube shot cinematically from the view of a cracked door.
B) His parents.
A) Either invest in a lock for the door or just date guys over the age of 28. At that point, they really shouldn’t have roomies anymore, anyway.
B) Unless there is some extenuating circumstance, do NOT date men who still live at home. We are all grown-ups here and we’re in the grown-up dating game. I have no clue how so many guys get love in the club when their mom is down the hall, but somehow they are knocking boots under their parents’ roof. Not only is it disrespectful to them, but it’s disrespectful to you, too. Move along until he changes his zip code.
8. GAY MEN
The issue: For obvious reasons, it probably won’t work out if he’s more interested in your boys than you. Or wears tighter pants than you. Or dresses better overall. Or constantly goes for rear entry.
The solution: None. Go find someone who plays for your team and you should probably bring your ex, so he can tell you who’s gay and who’s straight, since your gaydar sucks.
The issue: Move over, ladies, you aren’t the only ones with security or self-esteem issues. Men are right up there with us, except their insecurity manifests in crazy ways from which you innately want to abstain. Men with low self esteem are constantly seeking outside sources to make themselves feel better or, sometimes, worse. And listening to a guy explain for the millionth time why he feels like he just can’t win or always gets the short end of the stick gets really annoying really fast. I don’t mind building you up, supporting you, but goodness! Sometimes you gotta man up!
The solution: If you want to stick it out, go for it. There are worse situations to be in, so go ahead, compliment him, help him see the reasons you love him and hope he starts to eventually see them for himself, too.
10. CHARLIE SHEEN
The issue: Too many to count.
The solution: Not winning! Duh!
By Blackie Collins
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